Kmart, an alternative to living well

In the midst of writing a paper about the Patriot Act/ripping out my eyelashes, so short post tonight.

Friends, I ask you, have you considered Kmart? Perhaps there is not one near you (likely), so you may not be as fortunate as I, who now lives down the street from the only Kmart I am aware of west of the Mississippi River. Kmart is awesome. I bought a tank top there, but I'm not even sure I paid money for it. I may have just bartered with them in exchange for giving some meager amount of my personal time to visiting a Kmart.

At Kmart, it is not the year 2009. It is the year of Anytime I Visited My Grandma's House in Owensboro, Kentucky. They play Supertramp AND Bob Seger AND Hall & Oates AND they have an Icee machine that serves just Regular Icee and nothing extreme (just how I like it). They have an in-house photo studio AND a Little Ceasar's (suck it Sears Portrait Studio).

One time, I got an extra key made there and the kid that worked there told me I didn't even have to pay for it. Seriously. Paying for things at Kmart is apparently optional.