Saturday, June 26, 2010

The One Where I Just Lift an Exchange Directly from Facebook and I Wasn't Even the One Saying the Funniest Stuff

Jack
I think your New Yorker Rejection Robot story should be disseminated more widely. The world needs to know.

Patricia
I know--we'll send the New Yorker Rejection Robot story TO THE NEW YORKER
The Rejection Robot will short-circuit, it is not programmed to handle so much Meta

Samantha
The imagery of the t-rex. Priceless.

Patricia
I debated putting that in there, I thought "What if the New Yorker finds it"

Samantha
The New Yorker isn't looking. Reader's Digest is watching us all, but not the New Yorker.

Patricia
The New Yorker doesn't know about the internet yet, thank God; imagine the porn it would be looking at

All James Thurber fucking Roz Chast on the back of a horse, all Woody Allen pouring milk on his face, all Malcom Gladwell tasting a mushroom

Samantha
All David Mamet rimming Steve Martin's banjo.

Jack
WOW

Patricia
Ooo good one

All Jonathan Safran Foer jerking off onto a rose--through the miracle of time-lapse he climaxes just at the moment the rose opens

Samantha
Ha! All John Edgar Wideman sexing the 'O' of the University of Iowa campus sign.

Patricia
All Wallace Shawn/William Shawn incest scenarios

God this is endlessly generative

Jack
May the riffing never end

Patricia
Jack I know you're up for this, it's the reason you were born

Samantha
Seriously. Don't make us do all the work. Like Robert Pinksky directing a dwarf snuff film. 'Anybody Can Die.....'

Jack
All Updike/Cheever boiler room caresses

Samantha
Yeah! Rim shots all around!

Patricia
I can't even tell you how much the Devil wants me to post this conversation

Samantha
I should be so lucky.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sure there's a Susan Orlean and her donkey joke in here somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was about a second away from doing it on EOICC, you saved me from myself

    Actually I might STILL do it, so it can be near its mother

    ReplyDelete
  3. Okay I posted a slightly edited/rearranged version for greater narrative thrust

    I am such a kamikaze

    ReplyDelete
  4. All Zadie Smith repositioning Susan Orlean and her donkey for greater narrative thrust. Nailed it.

    ReplyDelete