Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Enumerated Reasons The Relationship Was a Bad Idea: A Reflection in Passive Voice

1. Books were purchased and followed that advocated food combining.
2. Answering machine messages inadvertantly disclosed too much while showers were taken.
3.Vanilla air fresheners were placed in every room.
4.The sentence was uttered, "She was the only one who understood my cats."
5.Drugs were bought while people waited unwittingly in the car.
6.The word 'fag' was used in common parlance.
7.Cure albums were heard playing at full volume from your condo after it was disclosed that things were moving too fast.
8.Front doors were answered drunkenly on a weeknight.
9.The unwillingness to eat vegetables was bragged about.
10."Mistakes were made."


  1. And a story for every one. But particularly #2. I'll tell you guys which ones are the same guys:

    Guy A:2,3,7,8
    Guy B:4,6,9,10
    Guy C:1, (also Ayn Rand books)
    Guy D:5

  2. you don't like air fresheners much, do you? i recall you saying something about not liking apple scented air freshners (as i smile slightly at the "autumn" smell emitted from my apple harvest air freshener).

  3. I'm with you on the air-freshener hate. They make any room smell like a gas station bathroom.

  4. i, too, hate fresh air. and don't get me started on the sound of children playing.

  5. Ok, I do like air fresheners, but in my defense, this guy had them in EVERY room of his house. His beige, beige, beige house. Makes you think he is covering up something.