Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dad Topics

Dad Topic: n, dad [dӕd] topic [ˈtopik]
Organizing principle around which one's father will repeatedly direct conversation.

Ex. Why that damn Beyonce 'Upgrade You' commercial is always on tv.
Ex. Why the husbands on tv shows are so stupid.
Ex. Why the people talk directly to you in pain reliever commericals.
Ex. Why some stores use both the cent sign and the decimal to convey amounts less than a dollar, rendering them, in actuality, less than a penny. (see F.C.)
Ex. Why They put the stale bread up front.
Ex. Why anyone, but specifically Dog the Bounty Hunter, would tie something around one's bicep.

Reader, please submit your own.


  1. Ex. Why baseball color commentators talk so much
    Ex. Believing in all sincerity that he invented the phrase "the dumbing down of America"

    You can cross-reference F.C. about the stupid TV husbands too.

  2. My dad rarely directs conversation, so I have little to add. However, I believe in all sincerity that F.C. did invent the phrase "the dumbing down of America" but for some reason only used it conversation after it had been co-opted by the media and punditry. It's true, you can look it up.

    Ex. Why you would run a draw on 3rd and 12... it just doesn't make sense. (F.C.)